Just Say "No". The Day it Began to Rain...

by Nathan Reis

Just say "No". We have all heard that before. No, this post is not an advertisement for the DARE chapter in the local middle school.

Just Say "No" - The day I really learned this it began to rain...

I hope that after reading this post, that you can apply this lesson to every part of your life. I promise that if you do, you will make more money, have more free time, and everyone will appreciate you more.

So Whats he Big Deal? I say "no" all the time...
Think Again! I doubt you do when it really matters..

Our society is so ingrained to please people. I am the worst. I'm a sales guy. My whole life I have spent trying to make sure everyone is happy. In fact, I think I may have been born a sales guy. As far back as I can remember I was selling my parents on what each other did or didn't do to keep them from fighting. This was far before I had any idea what I was doing. They got divorced. I lost that one. Well, I guess I won that one too, it depends on your point of view.

So what's the big deal about this "no" thing? You are probably thinking, "I say no to my kids all the time.", "I always pass on the 4th Big Mac", "I say no to the Jehovah's Witness people when the come by"... So what could I be missing?

If you are like me, you probably keep making one monumental mistake after another and you don't even know it. It's not other people you need to work on telling "no" to. Wake up and look in the mirror smarty, you are the one that needs to be told "no".

Guilty! Where you probably are wrong:

Ask yourself: Will I do this?
Your answer: Yes
Do you do it: No
If you would have done it, would your life have been better? Yes
So why didn't you do it? You asked yourself one thing and heard another?
What did you hear? You heard, "can I do this, not will I do this"
Result: You are a liar, unreliable, and untrustworthy.

I didn't really learn this lesson until I had my first sales rep job with Lehman Brothers. I was an account rep for over 1200 mortgage brokers who all wanted to close their loans. And of course everyone needed to close their 300 loans on the last day of the month when I had capacity for 30.

Illustration: Have you ever taken a sucker away from a little kid? Yeah, he cries... Ever tell a mortgage broker his deal is going out in docs today? Yeah, he cries too... But just like the little kid, they forget quickly. Do you know why? Compared to the competition you look like a superhero when they say, "Maybe" to avoid the temper tantrum and should have said "No". That "Yes" (Maybe is Yes people) just triggered a chain of events that has 2 adults, 2 kids, and a dog, sleeping in a Minivan for the weekend. It also has a realtor, title company, and loan officer, now looking like idiots and your cell phone just became your worst nightmare.

Solution: Answer the call. Don't put it off. Just say, "No".

I finally figured this out when my Best Western bill was more than my paycheck (I felt guilty about the minivan so I sprung for a hotel). Back to what I said earlier, the day it began to rain was when I learned to tell myself "No". It was a day I began to take inventory of my feelings, why I did things, and what made me both happier and more productive.

Note to self. I know the following:

• A clean house makes me feel better.
  
• It makes me more productive.
  
• I also know that I won't pick up my clothes off the floor.
  
• I won't get the mail.
  
• I won't grocery shop.
  
• I won't answer a call that I don't know the number.
  
• I won't check my voicemail.
  
• I don't pay attention to detail.
  
• I absolutely hate firing people.

What I did. The day my paycheck doubled.

Getting a little more mature and honest about the things that made me happy, I began to realize one thing. I kept planning on getting things done, but I never did. So one day I woke up and I had a great heart to heart with myself and just admitted it. There was no way I was going to do anything I didn't like to do.

So, when I was 25 I hired a full time personal assistant. I had so many friends that made fun of me. I was called spoiled, arrogant, lazy, wasteful, you name it. On the contrarty, I thought it was great! She did everything. Everyday she made my bed, picked up my clothes, did my laundry, checked my voicemail 3 times a day, returned the calls, managed my calendar, and made damn sure my fridge was plum full of Diet Coke. Finally, I was happy with myself. I had finally stopped lying to my favorite person (ME)!

The Result: A revolutionary concept.

Fortunately, I was in a job where the harder I worked or more productive I was, I made more money. Not all of us have this type of risk/reward in their jobs, but all of us have this type of risk/reward one way or another in our lives. I stopped listening to society and the norm. I did what made me happy. I was finally honest about not what I could do, but what I would do.

I am addicted to the rush of the deal. So by no longer focusing on laundry, not eating fast food, not wasting time in the grocery store, having someone tell me where/when to be, and someone to check and return all of my voicemails, my production doubled and so did my paycheck. Times were good and where I grew up I was taught to make hay when the sunshines. My $3500 a month investment in an assistant was making me over $38,000 a month.

So ask yourself the question: What am I lying to myself about on a daily basis that would pay the type of return I show in the investment above? Do something about it! I use an example above because monetary returns are easily measured, but happiness is treasured. Yes, people may call you spoiled, arrogant, lazy, or wasteful. I dare someone toss the jelousy and be mature enough to call you genius...

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