Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Customer is Always Right...

by Nathan Reis

"The customer is always right? Screw that! Whoever said that obviously has not talked to a customer before...." - Nathan J Reis 2006


The customer is always right. I speak about this topic in front of businesses all the time. My book is going to be written on this topic. This is honestly my favorite lesson learned not just in business, but in life. Once I figured out what that statement really meant, I realized I had figured out the key to business, friendship, and relationships. This topic alone, if really understood, will set you apart from 99.9% of the population and make you a master of manipulation.

The Definition: A Customer is someone you still want something from.
The Truth: The customer is always right.

Huh? Really? We have all heard it before. The customer is always right. Honestly if you have ever had a job as a waitress, bartender, cab driver, customer service, sales, executive, or doctor, you can undoubtedly agree with me when I say that customers are not right. Just last week I was again reinforced this truth when a customer escalated an absolutely ludicrous complaint to my desk. This furious customer said, "Your sales rep promised me that all of this was free, that you were going to send me a check for $5000, the product would babysit my kids, take care of my wife, and make my hair grow back...."

The Question: Was he right?
The Answer:
Yes....
The Riddle: What was he right about?

The Story: To better explain this, I need you to visualize my last relationship. Four years ago I was completely in love. I was head over heels, blinded by passion, and completely crazy. For blog purposes, we'll call the lucky lady "Misty".

Valentines Day was rapidly approaching. I was so excited about my relationship with Misty that I started planning 3 weeks early for an amazing, unforgettable, experience of a lifetime! To truly make this date a success I knew that two things had to happen: 1. She had to be totally surprised. 2. Her friends needed to know all about it (so they could oooohh and awe in jealousy).

Ok, so its two weeks before Valentine's and I get one of Misty's friends phone numbers. I needed her to aid in the plan and make sure things went smooth. She was so excited to help. So the planning began. For the next two weeks I began sneaking around to get things just right. It was going to be perfect. I was going to be Mr. Big from Sex in the City! I planned a limo, helicopter ride, fancy dinner, and a diamond studded watch to be brought out by the waiter for desert! It was perfectly planned, thoughtful, and expensive!

Being a man, I didn't notice that I was acting weird for two weeks...guess what, Misty did. She saw her friend getting a little extra excited each time my name came up. I later found out that she actually saw her friend and I exchange numbers the week before. So like most guys, I was completely clueless. I finalized all the details with Misty's friend and I planned a little prelude to the big surprise the day before with Misty. Misty came to my house a bit early for the movie, so she waited while I jumped in the shower. With perfect timing, my phone, which was on the counter, a text came across from Misty's Friend. It was in response to the watch I bought Misty. The text message said, "Nathan, you are the most amazing guy I have ever met..." Misty reads this (I don't know this at the time) and is heartbroken. Shes heartbroken and I'm clueless. I come out of the shower, noticed she looked a little off, and asked her if something is wrong. She said, "No, Why...?".

We make it through the night and I begin to gear up for my big date. I race to Nieman Marcus to pick up her shiny new gift. On the way out I'm so excited I stop by the Nordstrom's Perfume counter to pick her up some new perfume too.. Of course I'm excited, so I have to tell all the ladies in the department about my plans. They love me too! I leave with a hug from the nice lady who helped me with the perfume not noticing that I got a huge smudge of lipstick on my shoulder (I'm 6'6" tall). I whisk out of the store and pick up the most gorgeous bouquet of long stem roses. I then race over to Misty's place, smelling like.... yep, women's perfume. I have a big smudge of lipstick on my shirt, and I'm carrying a huge bouquet of flowers. To the naked eye, I'm looking like the worlds biggest scumbag and as guilty as humanly possible.

I knock on the door, had her the flowers, and I got the reaction of a lifetime. She burst into tears, threw the flowers in my face, and said "I can't believe you did this to me. I can't believe you are sleeping with my best friend..."

Being the mature individual that I was at the age of 26. I looked her right in the eyes, my jaw dropped, I took a deep breath, and said, "You ungrateful bitch........ I can't believe you! I did who? I said what? Do you have any idea what I have been doing for you... This is a joke..." I then proceeded to make her apologize until I saw it in her eyes. Victorious, I then stuck my chest out, looked in the mirror, and thought, "Damn' it, I won that conversation! How dare she think I was sleeping with her friend."

I was right. She was wrong. So why didn't it feel like it? After that day, things were never the same again. I ended up losing Misty.

The Quiz:
1. Who was right? Me or Misty?
Wrong Answer - Me
Wrong Answer - Both of us.


2. What is the definition of a customer?
Answer - See above

3. Do I still want something from Misty?
Answer - Your damn right I do!!! My inner caveman even bought flowers at an attempt to get what I wanted.



4. So back to question number 1. Who was right?
Correct Answer - Misty

5. Real Question. What was she right about?
Answer - She was right, not about what she said, but about the way she felt. It doesn't matter what happened or what she was saying. She was telling me that I was the one that made her feel this way. I was the person that caused her this pain.

6. Am I really talking about my ex-girlfriend? Or am I talking about that pissed off customer that cost me over 100k in 2005?
Answer - I'll let you figure that one out. The next time a customer gets on the phone and starts telling you that you slept with his husband/wife, apologize, don't argue, they will thank you for it.


The Lesson: If someone still has something you want, don't argue unless you have some kind of idea about what you are arguing about! Why, because if someone is talking about their feelings, you can't win. You see, the customer is always right! Has it come together yet? I hope so. The moment you don't want anything from them, they are no longer a customer. They are a waste of your precious time on this earth. This is the moment you stop listening, hang up the phone, and move on.

The Line: Here is the secret line that leads to customer service and sales nirvana. "I'm so sorry that I did that to you. I'm so embarrassed. Honestly, I am ashamed. I can't fix what I did, but this relationship means so much to me, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to fix this and to make you happy." - A Genius 2008

Starting a Business? Ask Nathan! Facebook users sign up to follow my blog here.
Follow me on Twitter.
Contact my company Paradigm Direct. Process credit cards on your iphone.

No comments:

Post a Comment